try not to think too much but i cant

i had try my very best not to think too much ...
but why i cant do tht ...
i reli hate myself ...
i always ask my frens don think too much but not to myself ...
i tried to 4get YOU ...
i tried not to remember YOU ...
i tried to let everything go ...
i tried to concentrate in my study onli ...
i tried don think so much ...
i tried not to let my heart 'cry' when i think of YOU ...
i tried to let time cure my heart ...
but everything i tried all failed ...
jus failed ...
i donno wat to do d ...
wat can i do ???
where should i go ???
when can i stop behaving like tis ???
who can help me ???
how i can get my normal life back ???
so many question wondering inside my brain ...
but i cant even answer one question ...
i reli tried my best ...
i try till very tired d ...
reli very tired ...
my heart feel so tired and exhausted ...
doctor !!!
wher are u ???
can u help me ???
GOD pls take away my heart ...
i don wan feel the pain anymore ...
it reli hurt ...
i rather no heart and live my life normally and peacefully ...
did i ask for too much ???
am i too greedy ???
i jus nid someone to love me, care me and be wit me ...
everyone think i m a funny guys ...
always joking wit u all ...
always make u all hapi ...
but i jus sad and moody all the time ...
i remember got a fren ask me b4 '' why u always moody wan ???''
i donno how to answer her ...
i was stunned by the question ...
tis is the question i ask myself every seconds ...
but i never get the answer b4 ...
i blif no one wan to b like me ...
suffering everyday ...
feel the heart broken feeling every nite ...
repeating the same feeling every day, every nite , every times ...
i oso nid someone to make me hapi ar ...
i oso nid someone to make me laugh ar ...
but ther is always no one ...
no one did tht ...
i got alot alot frens around me but no one can reli help me ...
but i hav to thx u guys ...
is u guys gif me strength and courage to continue my long and hurtful journey ...
i cant imagine wat will hapen without u guys ...
i think i will be at somewhere very far and very peaceful if without u guys here to support me ...
i remember i read a magazine b4 ...
i don blif these things at the beginning ...
but everything written is wat happen to me now ...
it say tht i will care my love life very much ...
it suggest me tht don think so much on love d ...
try to pay attention to my study ...
i did try ...
but i failed in the end coz i m too weak d ...
sry to b so weak ...
sry to b so stupid ...
sry to b so idiot ...
sry for everything i done tht trouble YOU ...
SRY everyone ...
sry o ...